Macedonians are, well kind of, unusual people. Our country is tiny, but we are people with big ambitions and even bigger egos. Sometimes we might seem strange, especially for those who are not familiar with our so-called “Balkans culture”. Well in order not to be confused with our, truly one of a kind, mindset and feel like if you are part of some really fun parody before you visit Macedonia you may want to learn how to act like a real, born and raised, Macedonian.
Here we go:
- Watch out from your neighbors, but still, make sure to keep up with everything they do
The neighbors play a huge importance in the life of every Macedonian. No matter whether we like them or not, their opinion is perhaps what matters the most in our society. So when you go to Macedonia, give your best to impress your neighbors. If you are having a fight with a member from your family- DO NOT YELL- what would your neighbors think if they hear you?! On the other hand, if you make some kind of achievement – DO TALK VERY LOUD – no achievement counts if the neighbors don’t know about it!
Oh and to be a good neighbor, you should care about your neighbors as well and keep up with everything they do. If you hear them fighting- give your best to hear what they are fighting about, if you hear their front door open- stop doing whatever you are doing and run to your window to see who is leaving or arriving. No need to be subtle!
- Talk a lot about politics
Probably over 90% of Macedonian population are not experts in politics, but there is no doubt that 100% of them are pretty sure that they are.
If you want to act like a true Macedonian, then make sure to talk a lot about the politics of the country. You are not familiar with it? No worries, neither most of them are!
- Going out and about with your friends? Make a real spectacle of it!
First things first, start getting ready 3 hours before you actually leave your house like if you are going to your brother’s wedding ceremony! And still, make sure to be late at least 15 minutes! Then when you finally get in the café where you should meet with your friends, the first thing you need to do is to post a check in, coffee picture (or selfie) on every social media you have! And after that you could just relax, drinking your coffee for 4 hours long while keeping an eye on everyone who would cross the door.
If you actually want to go to a disco instead in a café, don’t worry! You should do exactly the same except instead of sitting down and drinking a coffee, you should be dancing and drinking vodka. And by dancing- I mean you should be moving your head only and sometimes your arms, but never your legs! What an incredible ‘out and about’ night!
- Diss Greece, but still go chill there every time you are on vacations
Macedonia and Greece, indeed, are old enemies (due to their common history), it’s almost like if they are Israel and Palestine on the Balkans. So, like a real Macedonian, you definitely should talk a lot of bad things about Greece, especially right before you go to spend your vacations there! What can we do?! We just hate-love Greece!
- Diss Macedonia too, but get mad if someone else does it!
Yup! Just because you are a foreigner in Macedonia that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t talk bad about it. In fact, you should do exactly that if you want to act like a true local! It’s what every Macedonian does! However, if someone else does it, get super angry and prove to them how wonderful this small country is.
- When on the beach, cover the umbrella with your clothes
Macedonians are very easy to spot when they are on the beach. All you have to do is just to take a look around and spot the umbrellas covered with a bunch of clothes and – bingo, there is no doubt that the person who is laying under it is a born and raised Macedonian. So follow their example, cover the umbrella with your clothes and chill all day on the beach only like Macedonians do.
- Consider becoming a model or a DJ
Macedonia is not the country of fashion nor techno music, but Macedonians simply love to think that it is. That’s why most of them are trying hardcore to become a famous model or a DJ and as a real Macedonian, you should definitely consider pursuing one of those careers as well!
- Watch “heart-breaking” Turkish soap operas
While older generations grew up listening “Que te pasa?! Estas loca?!” and “Esa no es tu madre!” by watching the glamorous Latin American soap operas and with that acquired Spanish language quite well, today Macedonians love watching the “heart-breaking” Turkish soap operas. And if you want to be a real Macedonian – you should definitely spend at least half of your day watching Turkish soap operas as well!
Note: If you hear someone yelling “Don’t kill her! Don’t kill her! Run, run! He will catch you!”, don’t panic nor call the police! It’s just someone watching a Turkish soap opera. In fact, if you want to act like real Macedonian, you should learn from them and do that too the next time you watch a soap opera (preferably Turkish).
- Let your kid run around the restaurant while you are enjoying your meal
If you are a parent and looking for a kid-friendly restaurant, here are good news: there’s no need! Every single restaurant could be a good place to take your kid and let them run around as if they are in Disneyland while you are carelessly enjoying your meal. Occasionally, like a real Macedonian, you could also yell at your kid loudly and warn them that they might earn some slaps if they don’t calm down in 5 minutes.
- Before you leave fill your luggage with veggies instead of souvenirs
No matter where you are from, we know for a fact that there are no veggies in your country! Or at least not that good like the Macedonian ones! So before you leave instead of filling your luggage with souvenirs and gifts for your friends and family, fill it with peppers, potatoes, tomatoes and other types of veggies- that’s what Macedonian migrants do before they leave Macedonia and go back to the country where they moved out!